I swear with all my heart, I'm on the verge of suicide. God, I really really really really need strength. Since that day, I attempted suicide. Twice. But each time, I prayed and You stopped me. But I don't think this is going to end anytime soon. I'm really depressed and my whole body's failing on me.

I don't question your credibility, God. I really don't. But each time, I hope that you'll really listen to me. I'm dying. I'm purposely trying to kill myself. Unless it's already time for me to pass away, then, lead me on. Make me kill myself.

Please, I come down to my knees and beg You. I really don't want to be doing this. But I find myself attempting it quite a few times. My heart is dying, so is my mind, my soul, everything. I don't think I can go on.

Should anyone see this if anything happens to me, I love you. Every single one of you...